How to not find a guy….

7 Feb

So with all my talk and practice with mindset, emotional eating, the importance of awareness, and how all of these things transcend every area of your life, especially relationships,  I’ve become painfully aware of my skill and expertise in knowing exactly how NOT to find a guy.

No, not how to lose a guy….Kate Hudson has that one wrapped up. There’s no Matthew McConaughey in my life to even have an opportunity to lose. In fact, there’s no guy AT ALL!

My first thoughts, as aware as I am, and using my skill of thought identification is “What the heck is wrong with me?!”  Then there’s some movement toward positive thinking…..some reframing…”Kori, you’re intelligent, compassionate, driven…..there’s a guy out there who will appreciate you for who you are….you’ll find him someday……or he’ll find you….”

And then my obsessive, often-times-over-the-top analytical side comes out and I move into, “But how can you find someone if you’re doing nothing to look? You’re a freaking work-a-holic…..is any guy going to appreciate that?! Will they even have a chance if you’re behind your desk, behind a client, behind your computer screen?”

This is where, with such palpable dissonance present, I begin the justification process (see how good I am?): “Kori, a workaholic means that you’re accomplishing your goals, you’re moving forward with what you’ve deemed are your passions. With each step you take, each new opportunity you breathe life into, you’re learning, growing, and becoming more of the woman that some man is going to be enamored with in one look…” Oh the magic of justification. It’s a beautifully crafted method of relieving discomfort…..self-seduction, perhaps? I feel better just typing that.

What I’ve decided is that if anyone out there would like some training in the art of seduction, I’m your girl. Not only am I a relationship expert, I’m an expert at mastering the art of not finding one!

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