The Picked or the Picker?

3 Mar

I realized something today….well, I’ve realized it multiple times throughout my  life, but let’s say it came to me again today. This time I listened. I saw. I felt. I tasted. In other words, I paid attention. Why now? It’s intriguing to me how circumstances can be revealed to us in various ways many times, but we often won’t take stock of them until the time is right. I’m convinced it happens this way because when we’re first presented with them or it, we may just not be ready developmentally to do anything with it. Case in point: I’ve perpetually been picked. In my relationships, up until the age of 30, I was chosen. I had choices, but I just went with the flow, being picked. My motto would have inappropriately been “Choosy moms choose Jiff.” Nope, that wasn’t me. Those of you who know me well now might be surprised about this. Despite having what I feel has been a good sense of what I want, I didn’t actualize it. Perhaps I didn’t feel I could get there or realize it or make it come to fruition! Or maybe I was initially reluctant of the work it would take to make that happen! I guess that’s the name of the game right there: MAKE it happen. I often let things happen, let the chips fall as they may, always a great cleaner-upper but rarely the person who got to decide what needed to be cleaned!

I think a lot of people are content to let others make the decisions for them. To each his own. I, however, have discovered that I’d like to be the picker. I like going after what is important to me. I want to demand more of myself and of what is a part of my life than what’s just immediately in front of me and picked by others. I want to  know that I gave everything my best shot. I will be choosy, discerning of what’s in my best interest, and create an environment that is congruent with my goals and needs and ethics. And I encourage you to do the same.

Ask yourself how often you’ve really been the picker as opposed to the picked. May not sound too attractive, but I know which path I’m picking!


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