Every woman has the exact love life she wants…..right?

30 Nov

I came upon a blog the other day called “Chronically Single Girl” when I googled “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.”

A movie I had on in the background while working this weekend–some hopeless romantic comedy– sucked me in.

I love quotes, and being me– the single, less-than-excited-about-making-a-big-effort-to-find-“the one” –girl that I am right now, I had to know what others thought about this line.

As much as I sometimes despise my current status, I also cherish it. Do I have the exact love life I want? I think I do. Or do I?

This blog referenced the line from the movie, and not surprisingly, all of the posts were up-in-arms, “are you kidding me?!” conflagrations about the utter stupidity of this line. “If we had the exact love lives we want, why have we been looking so long and still haven’t found HIM!”

Of course I had to comment- What if you’re looking in the wrong places or in the wrong way? What if your expectations are set too high….or too low for that matter? What if you’re not supposed to be with anyone right now because you have some important things to learn about yourself before you meet your mate?”

Maybe I just laid out all my personal justifications for not having someone in my life right now. Or maybe this is all real and true and I’m just an optimist and really believe that my life is unfolding the way it’s supposed to unfold.  I have a big role to play in this, obviously. My time is being spent in other areas though, careerbeing the big one.

Chronically single sounds abysmally dismal! At least the girl could make fun of her circumstances. The blog likely lead her toward new relationships and she ended up meeting someone through them! Who knows.  I can’t help but believe that this quote really does speak the truth. Despite my transient feelings of aloneness and the thoughts I sometimes have about how nice it would be to have someone to share things with, am I doing anything to change my situation? No. So I really do have the exact love life I want, right?

What do you guys think? Does every woman have the exact love life she wants? (You “guys” can chime in too!) 🙂

Every Woman Has the Exact Love Life She Wants

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10 Responses to “Every woman has the exact love life she wants…..right?”

  1. Kristin January 10, 2013 at 10:45 AM #

    Ah, so happy this popped up as a must-read for me when I subscribed to the blog. I am single and it seems like all anyone wants (family!) is to see me with someone. I respond “Why? Because you are all so happy and fulfilled in your relationships?” There’s not anyone in my life that’s in a relationship I would care to have. Do I sometimes I wish I had someone to do and share things with? Sure. But I don’t want to settle. I would rather be alone and live my life just as I want to with no attachments to anyone than “deal” with someone else’s life, opinions, complaints, attachments…
    I go on dates and it seems like the first thing most guys want to see change about me is the one thing I really care about- training! “You should rest.” “Why do you do workouts like that if they’re so hard?” It makes me nuts!! Unless someone is on the same page as me, I’d rather keep on keepin’ on the way I am. Single and awesome.

    • kpropst Propst January 10, 2013 at 5:39 PM #

      Thanks for your comment, Kristin! It’s so easy to fall into making assumptions about how other people are feeling– all we know is what our own experience has been. You hit the nail on the head- yes, because they are all so happy and fulfilled in their relationships. 🙂 On the one hand it’s nice they want you to be happy too. On the other it would be interesting and cool if they, and everyone in general, would approach any situation like this from an exploratory position. “What’s it like?” they might ask.” I’ve never really been single.” Perhaps, K, it’s not that the guys want you to change. Maybe they are just perplexed by the anomaly that you are– a woman who is self-assured, independent, and has goals they are unfamiliar with!

  2. Alice February 28, 2013 at 2:27 AM #

    I don’t think it’s true. Many,many women want a partner, but can’t find one. You could argue that they sabbotage they’re own quest because they aim to high or something. But settling for something less than what you want, is not the love life you want. It’s the love life you’ve settled for.

    • kpropst February 28, 2013 at 10:25 AM #

      I agree in some respects. Wanting is relative and operates on a scale of intensity. I want a lot of things but I’m also not willing to do what it takes to get all of them. Those types of wants are fleeting and unimportant…at least right now. In terms of a “love life”, like anything, I think our expectations need to be tempered and we have to recognize that what we’re looking for may be unrealistic. Our expectations for others often lead to disappointment. When we are open to discovering and can operate from a place of curiosity, I think we find beauty in places we’d previously discounted there was any! 🙂 There is nothing wrong with aiming high and nothing wrong with having standards. We need them. We need to respect ourselves. But I do agree that we can sabotage by wearing blinders and believing that it HAS to be a certain way with the “love” we find or it’s not “right.”

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