Sometimes there is pain in the present…

17 Jan

I’ve had some amazingly eye-opening sessions with clients lately that it’s been difficult for me to concentrate on much else. What I learn through my interactions with these magnetic, creative individuals gets my brain firing in so many different directions that staying present does not come easy for me. This presence of mind, ironically, is what I often work on teaching. We get so caught up in the frenzied day to day tasks and responsibilities and our emotions that we lose sight of what is in front of us. “Flow” is what we experience when we lose all track of time, when we’re immersed fully in the here and now, and when we are completely centered and focused. This takes presence, and without a method of working toward it, we can succumb to chronic anxiety, loneliness, worry, and lack of productivity. My flow is thwarted when I’ve got a million thoughts or ideas floating around in my brain that I do not make the time to get out. I crash and burn when I do not act intentionally and allow barriers and distortions to creep in and convince me that I’m incapable. When I do tune in  to the walls that can be built because I’m not paying attention to the present, it can be painful and ugly, but that pain can be useful for me as I rebuild what often turns into a masterpiece- confidence, assertiveness, empowerment, meaning, purpose, and flow. This pain in the present makes me pause and reminds me that I can use every bit of my being to paint my life exactly as I want it to be.

I want to share with you another inspiring story, given to me today by a beautiful friend of mine. Her email to me and my response will give you hope and courage.

” I had a rough weekend. i intentionally planned to do nothing all weekend in hopes to rest and recoup, which i did, but then i was FLOODED with all sorts of discomforting emotions I haven’t felt in a long time.
At the end of it all, I was lonely. I reflected on my relationships, past and present, and was truly saddened by the fact many of my relationships no longer hold value. I know a huge part of growing is letting go. I also know once Ido let go,I will make space for new meaningful relationships. 
So after two days of darkness and tummy aches from eating everything in sight… I put my big girl panties on, cooked my meals for the next two days, went to the gym this morning, and came to work! It just so happens everyone in the office is in a horrible mood. So it’s quiet and super tense.. but as you have taught me, this means nothing about me. No one can make me feel anything.
I still feel sad and disappointed from this weekend, but strong enough not to self-destruct.”

My response: I must have had a feeling you were in need of a little “pick-me-up.”
Sometimes when we let ourselves relax and sink into just “being” without paying attention to all the “stuff” we fill our minds and lives with, that is when we get to actually experience the feelings that have been there but we’ve not been realizing.

Flooded is such a vivid word. I imagine a dam breaking. But I come back to what it COULD look like if we allowed a slow trickle/stream of those energies to come in periodically so we’re not getting to the place where they almost feel as if we’re being drowned by them.

(I respond here to a comment that she made about getting strength from certain friends). So much of our strength occurs because we want to be and do well for other people… Not just ourselves. Knowing that others care about us and believe in us can empower us to make decisions we wouldn’t otherwise and consider ourselves through lenses we’d not typically put on. We can operate with such blinders on until others show us the light and our truth. What has always been in us may not be fully realized until it is revealed by a trusted friend or team of confidantes.

It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s okay to want and yearn for more valuable relationships in your life. Turning that loneliness into intention and then into action is where you get to move next, if it’s truly important to you. Remembering too though that loneliness is constantly in flux and impermanent is key to not getting sucked under by it.



One Response to “Sometimes there is pain in the present…”

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