Be.Here.NOW! Two EASY steps to taking control!

23 Aug

Temptation.

Threats.

Stress.

No, they aren’t inherent. We create them!

A donut is just a donut.

Your boss’ scowl is just an upturned lip and furrowed brow.

The pile of papers on your desk is just a pile.

If you’re tempted you are thinking, “I really want that donut but I can’t have it.”

If you’re threatened you are thinking, “He’s mad at me. What did I do?”

If you’re stressed you are thinking, “There is no way I can get all of this done.”

Your thoughts. Not exactly true.

The meaning you’ve decided to attach to your thoughts has created a breeding ground for not so comfortable feelings. You’ve created a new reality for yourself– a pseudoreality.

So you have this first thought. Most individuals will act on that first thought. This is called impulsivity.

I want the donut. I eat the donut.

I think my boss is mad at me. I recoil and lose confidence in my ability speak to him.

I think my work to be impossible and now I can’t think clearly or focus on the task in front of me.

Reread the last 13 words of the sentence above.

Are you concentrating now?

You just completed the first of the two steps I’m recommending for taking control.

1. FOCUS ON WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. This means being present, aware, and in the here-and-now. Acknowledge your discomfort, ask yourself what is happening for you right now, and check yourself. Right now I am feeling tempted.

Be right here. Right now.

2. IDENTIFY YOUR THOUGHT AND SAY, “ON SECOND THOUGHT.….”

  • “I can have a donut if I want to. That is totally in the realm of possibility. There are consequences to every action though. I get to decide whether I want to modify the rest of my day to have that donut or recognize that a) donuts will always be available. I could get one WHENEVER! b) I have another meal coming up that I can eat soon. c) If I eat it I won’t be too happy with myself- it’s not exactly in line with my goals.”

Okay, this was a LONG second thought, but you get my point. One thought that you allow yourself to have that moves past the first can have very real, positive, and confidence-building consequences.

Ask yourself of the first thought, “IS IT WORTH IT?” or “DO I HAVE THE FACTS TO PROVE IT?” (Facts NOT feelings).

I’ll give you one more step for good measure.

When you recognize you’re feeling tempted, threatened, stressed, or otherwise uncomfortable say it out loud (if you’re in an appropriate place to do so): “Wow, I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed right now.” Make it real. Get it out of your head. Now you’re in a place to make a more effective decision about how to think and how to act.

Taking control means approaching your situation without judgement and in a present-focused manner. Want to know what else I do stay laser-focused on my goals? I’ll share my strategies in my next post.

In the meantime, I’d love to hear about the tools you’ve learned for maintaining your mental edge!

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Be.Here.NOW! Two EASY steps to taking control!”

  1. Susan August 28, 2012 at 1:15 PM #

    Just read this post, and I love it.

    • kpropst August 28, 2012 at 1:51 PM #

      Thank you, Susan! What did you love? 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: