What belief are you clinging to?

8 Feb

When we suffer…when we feel we “just can’t get a break”…when we are uncomfortable and fearful and trying so hard to avoid uncertainty…

maybe we need to ask “What belief am I clinging to?”

We’re all so hell bent on being happy all the time. Sure, I’m a big proponent of being positive, of anticipating the “good”, of acting compassionately toward myself and others. But is happy all the time realistic? Life brings “hard” and disconcerting, anxiety….PAIN. Count on it.

If we didn’t feel we’d be robots.

If we didn’t experience pain would we be able to experience rapture and bliss and beauty?

What belief are you clinging to?

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12 Responses to “What belief are you clinging to?”

  1. Heather Baliker February 8, 2013 at 10:32 AM #

    Your timing is impeccable, Kori! I am struggling right now and have been a huge mass of emotion. I finally conceded that it’s acceptable to feel, even the agony. I know I will come out a stronger woman; but the pain can be unbearable going through it. Thank you for this brief reminder of humanness!

    • kpropst February 8, 2013 at 6:21 PM #

      Heather! We suffer most when we try our hardest to avoid what’s right in front of us. It IS okay to feel. To be real. Comfortable? No. But remember that whatever you are experiencing right now, is different than what you’re experiencing right now, is different than what you’re experiencing right now….

      • Heather February 11, 2013 at 5:52 PM #

        Kori! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. That first sentence clarified so many of my thoughts!

      • kpropst February 11, 2013 at 6:21 PM #

        🙂

  2. Kristin February 8, 2013 at 1:09 PM #

    Last night I made a note of this line from the book I’m reading- seems to be somewhat along the lines of clinging to beliefs though I can’t quite articulate the parallel. The author says her therapist told her “One of the most powerful things you can do to challenge negative thoughts and behaviors is to test them out. You’ll learn whether or not the assumptions that you’re organizing your life around are in fact based in reality or just in your mind.”

    • kpropst February 8, 2013 at 6:23 PM #

      That resonates loudly, Kristin. Thank you for sharing this. I like to call that leaning in. Whatever emotion, thought, or behavior I’m wanting to avoid, the discomfort or dissonance surrounding it is my signal to explore it.

  3. Dee February 9, 2013 at 10:59 AM #

    I believe in the light at the other end. I don’t have wings, last time I checked, and I can’t just “fly over” the conflict or emotional yuk. I have to walk through it BUT when I keep my sights and hopes (remember “hope” is the yet unseen of what we know to be true) on the light, or tomorrow, I know I will get through it. Maybe I’ll be a bit battered and quite muddy, but I know from experience all that washes away and I’ll be left with a bit more wisdom and, if I’m lucky, strength to cross the next field.

    • kpropst February 11, 2013 at 10:58 AM #

      So much of our anxiety and discomfort is based in the fear of uncertainty or what we cannot see. You referenced hope, but we suffer most often when we are looking too far ahead of where we are right now. Where does the conflict in us reside and how does it manifest? When we push away what’s right in front of us, is this not when we struggle? I like this hope you talk about, Dee– the light (it always shines again), the tomorrow (there is always another day), change (what is uncomfortable right now is not the same even ONE SECOND from now). But with that we must also learn to be in “just this moment.” And knowing that change is inevitable, we can rest in “just this moment.” The circular reasoning here, however, is that if we are always living for the future, we will never appreciate the now. Gratitude fails us. Joy disappears. Or never appears.

  4. Dee February 9, 2013 at 11:02 AM #

    Oh, and I forgot. Although I am in total agreement that we can not be happy all the time, I do believe each situation holds a little bit of happy, and we all have the opportunity to glimpse a small glimmer of a smile.

    • kpropst February 11, 2013 at 10:59 AM #

      Whatever we perceive as awful now is never the only thing.

  5. Donloree February 17, 2013 at 8:32 AM #

    Happiness all the time doesn’t lead to happiness. Going through the pain, to the bottom of the experience means I get to enjoy the high points so much more. Good post. 🙂

    • kpropst February 17, 2013 at 10:59 AM #

      I’m skeptical of this, DL. I actually think it can. You’ve inspired my next post! I completely agree that navigating through the pain and experiencing the full roller coaster ride of emotion that comes with every aspect of our lives teaches us that we have the capacity to endure and to appreciate that much more the high points.

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