Archive | June, 2013

The colors are there– you just aren’t seeing them…

29 Jun

Living in Full ColorI’ve heard a lot over the last week, “I’ll try, Kori.”

On the other end of the continuum I’ve heard, “I won’t _____________ (fill in the blank)” or “Every day I will _________________.”

On one extreme are half-hearted attempts at changing a behavior (perhaps unconscious), and on the other are absolutes that just might fall through the cracks and result in feelings of failure and discouragement (also often unconscious).

The middle ground? The space between the event and the response.

The space where breathing takes place, slowing down, critical assessment of what needs attention in the present moment, and an honest noticing of what is right here, right now.

It’s a space where we recognize what holes we’re dragging ourselves into through our distorted and unrealistic, completely off-base thoughts and perceptions.

A space that welcomes creativity and a turning over of our well-worn beliefs and stories that so often were not written by us but that we’re living out.

A space that reveals the fresh earth beneath the hardened and biased outer shell that we barely take notice of.

It’s a space of vulnerability that often unveils the shame driving our behaviors. It’s a gap filled with ‘aha’ moments we’ll never have unless we give ourselves permission to step into it.

It’s a time where we realize we’ve adopted someone else’s goal.

A moment when the fog lifts and even if painful we decide to let someone or something go that we’ve been clinging to.

A glimpse of our power and our courage.

A reach toward compassion for what we’ve left behind and forgotten, or actively thwarted and stuffed away because we erroneously believed it needed to be hidden from others.

This middle ground– the space– is always there. We rarely, however, give ourselves permission to experience it. It’s inside of us. Ever taken the time to finally clean off your computer monitor and you’re struck by the clarity of the screen? The vibrant colors that pop out at you? The colors have always been there- you just weren’t seeing them.

Behavior change is hard. Just thinking about being different or doing something different is exciting. Totally different ballgame when you’re in the throes of the intentionality and practice that comes along with it.

If you’re not used to looking for the colors, you have to start looking for them. And you have to look for them constantly. You have to stop running from yourself and what you give to yourself, be it a thought, a feeling, or a behavior. Each of these may be inappropriate, ugly, or incongruent from what or how you believe you should be thinking, feeling, or behaving, but none of that matters.

They are colors. And when you see them, you can paint with them. You as the artist. Your life as the canvas.

The middle ground is a place of opportunity. A place where we can ask “What if?” and see what comes up rather than an obstacle in our path. It may be fear. It may be doubt. It may be excitement. Or it may be anticipation. But with each of these also comes a choice. Will you give yourself permission to see the full spectrum of the fear? Can you walk from the deep, pulsating reds that screaming “Stop! Don’t take another step!” to the calming “Come this way, it will be okay” life-giving greens?

I think you can.

Ask

3 Jun

It’s not our intuitive nature to do this. It is our tendency to move toward comfort. What if when we ask we receive an exceptional reply?

The “rest and digest” reptilian oriented state. Homeostasis. Equilibrium. You name it.

Chaos, on the other hand, and I speak in terms of cognitive, emotional dissonance, or put another way, incongruence or complexity, well, that’s another story.

A story. That you have the privilege of writing, if you so choose.

It embodies a questioning of the “facts.”

A discovery approach to your experiences.

A mindset that makes life your playground.

Hide and seek, without the hide. Seek and you shall find. “Looking in the mirror to see a bit clearer,” as the lyrics by Green Day say.

Can you be in your life like it’s a classroom, without the mindless repetition and regurgitation of the information, but one that has you engaging the information.

The ozone is depleting. Why? How are you contributing to this effect?

What good does “just knowing” do us?

Without asking questions and exploring “the truths”, we are the ones who deplete.

Candace Pert said that the brain is situated within the skull. It doesn’t move.

The mind, by contrast, reveals itself by way of the entire body.

Are you using your mind or your brain? Are you living as a whole person?

Ask.

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