Afraid to get excited?

“Everything has been going so well, I’m afraid to get excited,” my client stated emphatically. “What if it doesn’t last?” “Guess what…” I said, “It won’t!” I know what you’re thinking. Dang, Kori; way to burst her bubble! You always talk about how powerful our thoughts are and how important being positive is! Well, yes, …

The colors are there– you just aren’t seeing them…

I’ve heard a lot over the last week, “I’ll try, Kori.” On the other end of the continuum I’ve heard, “I won’t _____________ (fill in the blank)” or “Every day I will _________________.” On one extreme are half-hearted attempts at changing a behavior (perhaps unconscious), and on the other are absolutes that just might fall …

Don’t Kill the Messenger!

At the conclusion of my workshop earlier this week one of the participants expressed concern about the utility of a particular tool I’d recommended. I gave everyone 10 different tools to begin putting into practice that would set them on a course toward navigating the barriers we so often trip over and give permission (not …

Tell Me If I’m Wrong…Because I Want to Be Right!!- Part 3

The concept of “flow” is a useful tool to describe how moving toward opportunities of dissonance (discomfort) as well as being among others whom we can trust to hold our tensions as we practice holding them ourselves, is necessary for developing a more complex self. The “absent” friend solidly reminded me of our necessary journey …

Tell Me if I’m Wrong…Because I Want to be Right– Part 2

In my previous post I posed this question: In science, researchers seek out data than can disprove their hypotheses. Contradictory evidence shows them where their biases lie and signals how a new direction might need to be explored. They search for plausible rival explanations. Do you? Do you challenge your first thought and work at …

Tell me if I’m wrong…because I want to be right!!

“Kori, help!” “I don’t know what to do!” “I’m having a tantrum…” “I’m undecided and I don’t like it.” “What is wrong with me that I feel this way?!” Words I hear daily because we are neurobiologically wired to gravitate toward familiarity….certainty. Sameness is attractive, even desirable. Match.com profits on its system of matching like-minded …

If you’re a hot mess, mind your hot thoughts!

When I first heard the phrase “hot mess” I didn’t  know what to think. I experienced the same feeling I got when I sat in the theater watching the screen just prior to the  trailers running, when the voice said, “Do us all a solid…” and proceeded to ask the audience to silence their cell …

Choose

Last week I was talking with some friends of mine and I relayed a recent experience in which I had to make a decision. “I do not like making decisions,” I said. When I thought more about it, I realized that it’s not that I don’t like making decisions. I’m actually pretty good at making …

Can you trust your struggle?

I’ve been practicing more and more  “leaning in” to my anxiety. Using what I notice my body is conveying to me– the racing mind, lack of focus, tense shoulders, heavy sighs, and fidgitiness — as a signal to tune in to the feeling as opposed to galvanizing my energy to run away from it, I …

What belief are you clinging to?

When we suffer…when we feel we “just can’t get a break”…when we are uncomfortable and fearful and trying so hard to avoid uncertainty… maybe we need to ask “What belief am I clinging to?” We’re all so hell bent on being happy all the time. Sure, I’m a big proponent of being positive, of anticipating …